Your Child’s Love Language

 

As parents, we shower our kids with unconditional love, gifts, words of praise, time and affection. It’s pretty impossible to find a parent out there that doesn’t want their child to know just how amazing, special and loved they really are. 

Sometimes, our efforts to show our love may not be received by our kids because our love languages differ. If you have heard of Dr. Chapman’s 5 Love Languages quiz for couples, maybe you aren’t as familiar with the fact that he has also developed Love Languages for kids!

Here is the breakdown of the 5 Love Languages: 

1. Physical Touch- Feel loved when they are hugged, kissed, embraced

2. Words of Affirmation- Feel loved when they are acknowledged, and told how special they are

3. Quality Time- Feel loved when people do things with them (play a game/sport)

4. Acts of Service- Feel loved when people do nice things for them life help with chores/responsibilities

5. Gifts – Feel loved when they get a gift or a special surprise that shows them you thought about them

As a therapist, I often witness how love gets lost in translation with children. “My mom always wants to be around me! I just need some space!” This is an excellent example of how mom’s love language is probably quality time and she expresses that to her kids (assuming their primary love language is the same). To a teen whose love language is words of affirmation, this can feel like intrusion and like a barrier to their independence. This is why knowing more about how your child gives and receives love can be such a tool in connecting with them and having a strong bond!

I’ve found this to be an amazing tool for couples and families I work with. 

Check out Dr. Chapman’s Love Language Quiz here!

Be well, 

Valerie Spiropoulos,LCPC

The Centered Life

7 Ways to get the most “bang for your buck” in therapy

fa08ecd8e6379c0443add6447c1bba5a

 

Hopefully I don’t put myself out of a job, but I will be the first to admit- Therapy is expensive! In Naperville, Illinois (a Western suburb of Chicago), a 50 minute session can range anywhere from $150-$280.  Insurance is an option for some, but we all know the status of our healthcare system these days and who wants an insurance company telling them how many sessions they’re allowed to attend?

Although costly, there is great value in the therapeutic process. Clients often experience emotional relief, a sense of support and learn tools to cope with the issues that brought them to therapy.


A guide to get the most “bang for your buck” when you start counseling.

 

1. Before you start…STOP and commit!

Understanding the befits of counseling and working to overcome some of the stigma  associated with it, will save you tons of time and money. This can be challenging- be sure to reach out to people you trust.

2. Be an educated consumer!

With instant information at our fingertips, we have unlimited options.

  • Learn the difference of counselor credentials in your state
  • Ask people you trust for a referral (ie: your doctor, a trusted friend or family member)
  • Think about the type of therapist you would connect best with: male/female/passive/directive/younger/older

 

3. Try before you buy!

The relationship between you and your therapist is a major catalyst in helping you work towards your goals; ask if they can provide a free phone consultation. This will give you an opportunity to see if they’re  a “good fit” before the first session.

 

4. Therapy is not magic, nor is it a “quick fix”

If this was the case, I would wear a cape to work and you could get therapy at your local Starbucks Drive Thru!

  • Be patient first with yourself- you are a complex and unique individual, exploring your issues and learning to cope with them takes time, patience and understanding.
  • Secondly, be patient with your therapist- our top priority is to help you. We can’t, unless we understand you- and that also takes time and patience.
  • There is no “magic number” of how long it will take you to overcome your struggles- that is a very personal and individual process.

 

5. Just because it hurts, doesn’t mean it is bad for you.

If change were easy and pleasant, we would all be living ideal versions of ourselves! The reality is: change can be an uncomfortable process that can stir up some emotions that can be tough to handle. At the same time, having an expert in your corner, who can support you in managing these feelings and challenge your fears is very re-assuring!

 

6. Come prepared.

We love our clients and the work that we do! We put all else aside when we meet with you. For that one hour, we give our attention, focus and care 100% to you. Please come prepared to do the same for yourself. Honor the time you spend on bettering your life by being present and open to change.

 

7. If it is not helping~ please say so.

If you bought a pair of pants and they didn’t fit, would you keep trying them on every week?

  • Maybe, but you would bet it would be pretty frustrating! The same goes for therapy.
  • Treatment is an extremely individualized, unique process for everyone; it can take some time to find what works best.
  • Don’t assume that just because your therapist is an expert in counseling, they are an expert in what works specifically for you.
  • Be vocal about what you find helpful and what you do not… trust me, we appreciate the feedback!

Keep these tips in mind and you can save yourself a ton of money! But don’t forget that it’s not the dollar amount that defines the value in therapy- its you.

Best of luck,

Valerie Spiropoulos, LCPC

image

www.thecenterelifetherapy.com