Do you ever hear it? That little voice inside you that sometimes whispers and other times screams: “You are meant for moooore!” It’s those work days when you feel like you’ve hit your max limit-it feels unbearable to handle another problem, annoying to talk to anyone else, and physically exhausting to keep going.
Or maybe its those moments you find yourself laying in bed awake thinking “I am not where I should be in life…” which then spirals into mean girl thoughts like: who do I think I am to want it all? And “It’s too late to change the path I am on”
A woman I worked with described it As… “that overwhelming feeling that grips me just at the very second I allow myself to day dream about what it would be like to do work that fills me.”
We all experience it differently but at it’s core, this feeling can have such a devastating affect on women. I’ve see it erode marriages, create distance between women and their kids, and perhaps most devastatingly, break a woman’s belief in herself and her strength.
If this speaks to you, you are one of 51% of the Americans who feel no real connection to their job. It’s a serious problem, and given that in this culture, we strongly connect our value as people, to the work we do, what is this telling us about how valued women feel?
So, what do you do?
In my 12,000+ clinical hours of experience supporting women, this is what I’ve found:
You must Get the courage to take the journey. AND, If you embark on this journey, I will be perfectly honest and say it requires a commitment; one that shows difficult for many women to make- the commitment to yourself.
I will also guarantee that it has the potential to be one of the most beautiful and transforming journeys you will ever take in a lifetime. Before you start, Here are three simple things you can do today, to begin your journey toward living the life you were meant for.
1. Love Yourself. Love yourself enough to take time to rediscover who you are and what you care about. What are your like/dislikes, who inspires you? Also, love yourself enough to quiet that inner mean girl. Would you actually talk to anyone you care about in the same way?
2. Be imperfect. When asked, most women would deny being a perfectionist. Here’s the deal: if you’ve ever felt inadequate, you’ve been a perfectionist. This is because Perfectionism does not make us feel perfect, it makes us feel like we are not enough. Do your best to hold yourself to human, AKA imperfect /flawed expectations.
3. Walk the Walk. It’s all fun and games until our fears take over and we are frozen from taking action towards our dreams. The truth is, if change were so comfortable and easy, we would all have it all! Teach yourself to go against your gut when it comes to fear- if it scares you, you should probably do it anyway.
Take time to do these practices daily to start transforming your life!
My wish for those of you who choose to take this amazing journey is that you surround yourselves with a crew of warriors to support you. Friends, family, other women who are on similar journeys, coaches, therapists and anyone else who can support you. Remember when women support one another, incredible things happen. If you find yourself in a place where you are needing some support, I would love to talk with you!
Val Spiropoulos, LCPC
Val Spiropoulos is a Psychotherapist and partner at The Centered Life; a woman-owned, women specialty counseling practice in Naperville, IL. Val partners with women who know somewhere deep down inside, they are meant for more. She helps them rediscover themselves and walk confidently towards their dreams so that they live a truly fulfilling life.
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